The Mantra of Tiny Elvis

My Lovin' Teddy Bear

There is an old SNL skit that Ben alludes to fairly often, The Adventures of Tiny Elvis, in which Nicolas Cage plays the eponymous leather-bedecked character who is so small he can fit in someone's palm.  The premise is simple: he's Elvis, but tiny.  The dialogue, which is not nearly as amusing as that of some other vintage sketches, looks something like this:

Tiny Elvis: Hey, man...look at that salt shaker, man. That is huge! Man, I'll never be able to use all that salt, man. That is way too much!


Red: Yeah, that's a big salt shaker, Elvis!


Tiny Elvis: Sure is huge, man.


Sonny: That's hilarious, Elvis!


Red: Score another one for the Tiny E!


Sonny: Man, we can't keep up with you!


Tiny Elvis: Well, I'm just saying it's a big salt shaker, that's all.

On the surface, nothing special, right?  Barely even funny, although Ben and I have always enjoyed using it in reference to really odd things, like disproportionately big road signs that tell you there's a curve ahead or the enormous American flags outside of car dealerships.

I have, however, found a new role for Tiny Elvis in my life.  He is my new guru, and "It's just big, that's all," is my new Jesus Prayer, a la Franny and Zooey, when things seem too overwhelming.  When Milo is screaming, and the dog is outside on the porch whining and the phone is ringing and I'm late for something or other, I plan on using the Tiny E mantra to get me through.  At the absolute minimum, Nicolas Cage can be a force for good in the world for the first time in a very long time.